I was speaking to an old friend of mine and both of us started reminiscing old days and old friends. So far, everything is normal.
Then we started speaking about a particular old friend who is brilliant, but for the last 7 years nothing has changed in his life. He added another child to his life, but that also didn’t bring any change in his routine. He comes to office at 10, has coffee at 10:30, hd a standing call with his team at 12:00, goes for lunch at 12:45, then goes for a walk, then coffee break at 3:15, and then he leaves for home at 5:00. The only change in his life is brought by friends who wants to throw a lunch party, or they want to have ice cream in the evening instead of the coffee. Our company has undergone so many changes, but nothing in his life changed. His work still remains the same. He didn’t change any aspect about his work, his bosses quit, but he didn’t bother stepping up. Me and my friend were so concerned how come he doesn’t get bored? Isn’t he looking for something more from his life? He is in his early 40s, after travelling all across the world, how come he is satisfied? He has so much potential but he doesn’t use even a percentage of it.
This made me wonder why am I surprised? Who am I to expect anything from him? Why should he change anything about himself to satisfy us? Maybe he is satisfied, maybe he isn’t, how does it matter to me? It is his choice, why should he live upto my expectations? But! But, as his friend, isn’t it my role to speak to him about it and maybe push him to other newer things? Normally, these things doesn’t bother me, I believe in people leading their lives the way they want to live. I don’t know how to get away from this conundrum. Whenever my friends are sad, I do make it a point to ask them, if they are okay and if they want they could talk to me. Lot of them do and I know I do help them, because they do make it a point to tell me later.
But, in this case, I know he wouldn’t talk to me about it, he will just shrug it off and crack a joke about abyss. So despite ranting about it, i am nowhere closer to making my decision about this situation. We make our choices, sometimes we live upto people’s expectations and sometimes we don’t. It doesn’t matter. Only thing which matters is, is our happiness. It is our most basic human right to be happy and I think we should do everything in our capacity to be happy. But does that mean for the sake of my happiness I should ask my friend about his problems? Sounds selfish, and I don’t know the answer yet.
Thanks for reading.